Reviews For A Blazing Sun
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Reviewer: shadowinghope Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 08 Feb 2014 1:32 PM Title: Breathe Again

i have to tell u for ur first fanfic, this is pretty damn good! i've read up to ch. 66 (even tho i'm leaving this on ch. 1) at least more than 10 different times by now. This isn't the usual Jake and Bells AU NM story like u said and i love it all the more for it! this is definitely one of the best fanfics out there for this fandom for all Jake and Bella lovers! your takes for both characters are exquisitely realistic and i daresay that Stephenie herself would be proud if she read it =D

please keep up the good work. i've been following this story for a while now and (sorry for not reviewing before, still kind of figuring out this whole site, i only recently found out how to respond to reviews if u can believe that lol) i can't wait to see what happens next with Emmett and Alice in town. Poor Jake =( but we all know how much Bella loves him ;-) and he should know, too lol

p.s. i also just wanted to say thank you. "Breathe Again" was one of the first stories i read among "ONIAT", "Another Definition", and "A Downright Disgrace" when i started on here and i say it in all honesty when i say that you four authors really turned me into a fanfic nut, making me obsessively in love with Jake and Bells more so than I already was and you guys have inspired me to write my own story for them. so thank you! =D

Reviewer: Deenohh Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Nov 2013 11:30 AM Title: Breathe Again

Jacob didnt screw up, Bella did. SHE started it. Bella needs to wake up and get over herself already. Bella is not broken but she is selfish, self centered and is using Jacob and sending him a lot of mixed signals to keep him dancing on her string. That is the worst sort of cruelty. The relationship with Mr Sparkles lasted a few months at this point.  She needs to get a clue and stop thinking like love is a story in bronte book. Edward was a dishonest, manipulative, obssesive creep but Bella's behavior towards Jake is not much bettefr 

Reviewer: BabyDollKisses Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05 Oct 2013 7:28 AM Title: Breathe Again

All at once :D 

This fic is pretty good! Still trying to get used to the different POV's of the same scene. I think I'm just impatient and used to a fast pace :) 

 

Reviewer: frekles Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 02 Mar 2013 6:11 AM Title: Breathe Again

love your story!!!!!!!!! just spent the last 3 days reading it al!

Reviewer: twilightrose0372 Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Jan 2012 4:30 PM Title: Breathe Again

Such a great story!  Please tell me you'll be finishing it?!?

Reviewer: bb120 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 28 Dec 2011 1:40 PM Title: Breathe Again

WOW ! ... totally loved this storyyy ! ... IT'S AWSOMEEE !!! :D

Reviewer: BrieFree Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 17 Nov 2011 3:24 PM Title: Pursuit

I love the character of Victoria, however I think if you could try to bring more of the misunderstood side of her personality out that would help. Then explain how she turned to this Femme Fatalle that would help.

Reviewer: Lead69 Signed [Report This]
Date: 17 Sep 2011 2:53 AM Title: Breathe Again

Well ... I had a couple of hours to kill and this filled the void quite nicely.  Enjoying a little J/B.  Looking forward to reading more.  :) Lea

Reviewer: Lead69 Signed [Report This]
Date: 15 Sep 2011 8:34 PM Title: Breathe Again

Edward who?

Reviewer: Cooky Crumbla Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Dec 2010 10:37 PM Title: Breathe Again

I can't wait to read more.

Reviewer: SmallTownGal Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Sep 2010 10:56 AM Title: Breathe Again

I LOVE EMILY!!! I LOVE THE STORY I LOVE JACOB!!! I JUST LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM REALLY FREAKING HYPER AND YOUR STORY IS JUST AGGGHHH GREAT!!!!!!!! YAY!!!! BYE!!

Reviewer: raeluvs Signed [Report This]
Date: 12 Sep 2010 8:24 PM Title: Breathe Again

i dont think it needs to be in two pieces but that would follow the rerest of the book, on the other hand i cant wait for two different chapters! i want to know whats gonna happen right now!! lol thanks so much for this chapter i cant wait for the next one!!! and the sequel! <3

>

Reviewer: iloveedwardandrob Signed [Report This]
Date: 12 Sep 2010 7:24 AM Title: Breathe Again

    Well, my opinion is that the more, the better, so I'm for separate Bella and Jacob POV's! I always enjoy hearing what they each think, and how they interpret what's going on.

    It was really nice of Jacob to go with a Quil when he was upset, though I wasn't surprised. Jacob's just a good guy, and his friend was hurting. I do think it was interesting for Jacob to get more of a firsthand look at imprinting. I'm still wondering if that's going to happen to him. He's pretty sure Bella's it for him, but who knows? I'm surprised he hasn't thought about that specifically.

    I also enjoyed reading about his shopping with Emily and the subsequent mess he made in the kitchen! I don't know if all men are that way (messy), but my husband sure is! Not that he can't cook like Jacob, but he sure makes a huge disaster when he does! It was nice of Emily to clean it up for him, though. I think she could tell he was getting a little freaked out about it all, and she wants his dinner to go well with Bella. Oh, and it was really sweet what he did when they were in the grocery store and the people were staring. He has a good heart.

    I can't wait to read the sequel and see where this all goes. I've really enjoyed it. I think I've told you I've never really read a Jacob/Bella story and liked it before, but I'm glad I've read this one. It's actually made me like Jacob more, though I never disliked him before, I just believe Bella should be with Edward! But it's still been interesting to read, thanks to your great writing, and I'm looking forward to more.

       Debbie

Reviewer: iloveedwardandrob Signed [Report This]
Date: 12 Sep 2010 7:08 AM Title: Breathe Again

    Curiosity? Hmmm... I would think she'd be a little annoyed that he'd lied to her, but I guess not. I only hope the surprise comes off as planned. I've missed this story, and am looking forward to their little dinner date. I do feel for Bella, though. Spending a day shopping like that is not my idea of fun, but at least she got to know the girls a little more. I would've felt pretty awkward talking about Jacob in front of either of them, though, so I'm glad she didn't answer their questions, though I guess there's not a whole lot to tell yet, anyway!

    I'm really enjoying this story.

       Debbie

Reviewer: Werewolfgrlz Signed [Report This]
Date: 10 Sep 2010 1:01 PM Title: A Blazing Sun

how do i read the damn story?

Reviewer: raeluvs Signed [Report This]
Date: 04 Sep 2010 10:49 PM Title: Breathe Again

i just read your entire story in one day!!!! i love it!!! its amazing i found you  on twilighted and i am hoping you will post more soon, on either site!!! i can not wait for the end of this story and for more in the squel! thanks so much, hope to read more soon!!!!!

Reviewer: misticbutterfly Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 Aug 2010 10:46 PM Title: Breathe Again

I've missed these updates.. any clues as to when there will be an update?

 

Reviewer: iloveedwardandrob Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 Aug 2010 4:11 PM Title: Breathe Again

   Okay, so I have a confession to make. Here I am, on chapter 70, for god's sake, and this is my first review. I'm very ashamed to admit that, but I had to stop and do it now. I normally review on every single chapter of any fic I read, but I didn't on this one, and here's why. First of all, I found myself so caught up in the story, I couldn't stop, which, I know, is no good excuse, but true. Also, I guess I was a little surprised at myself that I was loving this story so much. Not that I had any reason not to, except that I'm pretty much a diehard Edward/Bella lover, so the fact that I found myself so caught up in a Jake/Bella story was very strange to me. I guess I should also say that I was thoroughly prepared to hate it, and very surprised when I didn't! That would be due to your incredible writing talent, by the way. You had me from the very beginning. Your take on Jacob is pretty spot-on, which impressed me so much. While I'm firmly on Team Edward, I've always liked Jacob, too, and it was refreshing to read a story from his viewpoint. 

    I originally found your story by browsing through the stories available on the site, and for some reason, I decided to give it a try, and I'm really glad I did. Like I said, I love Edward, and to tell the truth, I was reading this story and finding myself enjoying it in spite of that, but I really keep waiting for Edward to return. This far in, though, I really like Jacob, and hate the thought of what it would do to him when/if Edward comes back, which, I assume, is going to happen at some point, since you've alluded to it more than once. It's going to be a tough thing for me, though, to hope that she chooses Jacob. I mean, I adore Edward, and we all know why he did what he did, even if we don't agree with it, so I'm really still on his side. But after reading this story, I'm the closest to hoping she chooses Jacob that I've ever been, which is pretty astonishing to me! That is all due to your talent. You've managed to portray a Jacob that I can root for, that I can see Bella with in the long term.

     So, I'm really looking forward to the sequel. I still have that hope that Edward will come back and she'll realize he's her true love, and while I know it would devastate Jacob, I still hope that's what happens, though I won't be mad at you if you write it otherwise! I do think there will come a time when Jacob will imprint on someone and Bella will be left out in the cold like Leah was, so in that sense, I hope she chooses Edward. But I hate the idea of Jacob getting hurt. Just thoroughly hate it. Even moreso than when I read the books, now that I've read your story!

  Okay, I'm off to read the last few chapters, and then I can look forward to the sequel. I'll try to be better about reviewing.

       Debbie

  

Reviewer: Lead69 Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 Jul 2010 8:33 AM Title: Loyalty

Damn it I was looking for a one shot to recc and now it looks like I'm going to have to read the whole damn story now LOL.  I like your Embry although his guys logic has me a little worried.

Reviewer: tracy-edwardssexkitten Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Jul 2010 2:15 AM Title: Breathe Again

I love Jacob, but I have always had a thing for vampires, I am 34 and have loved thim since I was 12....the Lost Boys with Jason Patrick..."sighs".  I will always be forever Team Edward.

Reviewer: WriteOn70 Signed [Report This]
Date: 31 May 2010 4:53 PM Title: Breathe Again

Just looking around at some of the series at The Writer's Coffee Shop when I stumbled across your name. It sounded familiar cause either Teambella 23 or Vampish Vixen had mentioned you on the notes of one of their stories. Thank goodness for word of mouth. It would probabably have been winter before I got to yours.  

Reviewer: WriteOn70 Signed [Report This]
Date: 31 May 2010 4:30 PM Title: Breathe Again

I think you are doing a great job on this story & people have to remember this is your version/POV. They just need to read on & save some of their comments. OR better still write their own story.

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 May 2010 1:08 AM Title: Breathe Again

awww. that is georgous

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 7:59 PM Title: Breathe Again

Jake is so normal it is so good to read this...  I love it

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 7:03 PM Title: Breathe Again

LOL that is fun.... way to stir up trouble Jake..

Reviewer: WriteOn70 Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 6:38 PM Title: Breathe Again

Thank you so much for writing a real relationship for these two. I think your fans (that includes me) respect what you've done here.

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 8:23 AM Title: Breathe Again

OH this is greatness

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 7:52 AM Title: Breathe Again

LOL Love Embry.... idiot...

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 7:39 AM Title: Breathe Again

i like emily....

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 7:34 AM Title: Breathe Again

lol i sort of dont want edward to come back....

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 7:26 AM Title: Breathe Again

lol Jake is alot of fun.. I personally think he is like my husband.. and I want to kill him daily!!

Don't do it bella!!! RUN!!!!

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 7:17 AM Title: Breathe Again

lol ha ha ha ha ha ha that is funny......

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 7:07 AM Title: Breathe Again

LOL go Mike!!! NOT LOL...

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 6:59 AM Title: Breathe Again

Oh yeah he is a boy.. rolls eyes LOL

I love that it is so realistic..

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 5:02 AM Title: Breathe Again

Nice.. and how true.. LOL 16 year old boys often screw up big time!!

this is great!!

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 4:53 AM Title: Breathe Again

awww... that is so hard that type of love.. been there.. done that..

Reviewer: TheSpoiltOne Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2010 4:04 AM Title: Breathe Again

Nice first chapter! I have been meaning to read your stories for awhile now.. can't believe I waited so long this is a great start!! Wouldn't expect anything less mind you LOL

Reviewer: 420bmx Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 May 2010 11:44 PM Title: Breathe Again

please continue.... :(

Reviewer: JaspersMum Signed [Report This]
Date: 22 May 2010 10:53 AM Title: Breathe Again

Just re-found this story (how did I manage to lose it?) and am really enjoying it.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

 

(I found it via the 108.9 category)

Reviewer: eitak Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 May 2010 9:35 AM Title: Breathe Again

I happened to stumble upon you're story, and I just had to tell you that I absolutely love it. It is very well written and well developed, and it feels so possible, had Edward not return in the book's reality. It just feels like something Steph could have written. I love how you have every chapter in both POVs, too. You're doing a great job.

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 May 2010 9:29 PM Title: Breathe Again

Do you have a FF.net account?

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 May 2010 12:00 AM Title: Breathe Again

can't wait for the next chapter.. hopefully soon :)

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Apr 2010 5:51 PM Title: Breathe Again

can't wait for the next chapter! :)

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Apr 2010 9:34 AM Title: Breathe Again

Well I already know that it doesn't involve Jacob either haha, because i read in your table of contents, so, I'm glad, because otherwise i would be freaking out haha, hopefully Jacob never has to imprint, but i guess that's just wishful thinking, but hey, it is a story, not real life, so you never know what will happen

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Apr 2010 9:08 AM Title: Breathe Again

haha, loved that ending. I was wondering though, what does YSAR stand for? Is that your real name? Is it an abbreviation for something? I just thought that as i logged on and went to read your story haha

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Apr 2010 1:06 AM Title: Breathe Again

It's in the topten most favorited section.. so usually those story's are the best, I always read some story's from there.. and I'm a big Jacla fan so.. this one really caught my eye, espectially when you have the part about, Edward leaving, Bella forgeting, and her and Jacob in bed together haha, I think it might even be in the topten most reviewed.. but I'm not sure..

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Apr 2010 12:51 AM Title: Breathe Again

Oh, really? I kind of liked reading what both their thoughts and everything were for the arguments and all the events that happened. Ah well, I didn't notice the sequal up, is it up? Or are you still writing this story?

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Apr 2010 12:35 AM Title: Breathe Again

Oh great, I don't even know what detail your talking about from chapter 2 or 3.. now I'm curious.. and I'm probably going to have to go back and read to find it.. Thanks a lot!! haha

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Apr 2010 12:15 AM Title: Breathe Again

oh good haha... it wasn't Edward, you really had me convinsed though.. Jacob, don't be so stupid.. god! I hate these parts of storys.. they make me so fustrated

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Apr 2010 12:09 AM Title: Breathe Again

GOD DAMNIT!! EDWARD JUST GO AWAY!!! Well.. I'm guessing it's Edward that's looking around Emmett.

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Apr 2010 8:27 PM Title: Concession

Haha He reminds me of Bella.. I dont know why, it's not just the fact that he's her dad. Its the way you wrote him, i guess.. he just reminds me of her. haha, if that makes any sense.

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Apr 2010 12:16 AM Title: Envy

wow.. theirs a lot more debth to her charator than i would actually have thought, and there i'd just thought she was being a right bitch haha, goes to show doesn't it

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Apr 2010 11:25 PM Title: Breathe Again

gotta love a mad Bella lol.. wonder what the howl was for.. hmm, guess I'll find out soon enough

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Apr 2010 11:10 PM Title: Destined

lol, she so fucking clueless, its hilarious

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 28 Apr 2010 1:05 AM Title: Breathe Again

haha, can't wait to read the next chapter, but that'll have to wait till morning, which sucks, but iim tired and i don't think my eyes could take staring at the computer screen for much longer. Loved the chapter though, and your writing. Ever think of writing your own story? That you created? I think you would be good at it. Just a thought

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Apr 2010 12:50 AM Title: Breathe Again

JACOB!!!!! always! but yea, I know, he still might imprint on someone, I'm guessing thats how it ends, him imprinting and Edward 'waiting in the wings' for when he does.. I really wish it didn't have to be that way though. Anyway, I wonder why Jess is looking for Embry, haha, she probably thinks their dating or something and has turned into a clingy girlfriend or something, wouldn't that be hilarious! Poor Embry.

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Apr 2010 12:00 AM Title: Breathe Again

GO JACOB!!! I can't wait until he finally catches up to and and kills her.. even if i felt sorry for her before.. she wanted to die right?? God, it's so fustrating, your story is like one of those good books, you can't seem to stop read or put it down. I know I'm going to regret this in the morning, when i have a massive headache from staring at the computer screen for so long.

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 Apr 2010 11:36 PM Title: Pursuit

It kindof makes you feel sorry for her, she lost her love and everything, and by drinking human blood she's just being a normal vampire. Edward was going to kill himself when he though Bella was dead, she wanted to die also. It makes sence. If only she didn't have to cause so much trouble, if only she could just go to the Voultri like Edward. If only.. well, I like the way you wrote her charactor. I haven't read much of anythink from her Point of Veiw, so it was interesting, and I'm so glad that the silver streak was a newborn vampire and not Edward haha, it would be to soon for him to come back if it was.

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 Apr 2010 11:10 PM Title: Breathe Again

The silver figure is just her imagination? And the fire is because they finally caught the Redheaded Victoria leech and they're burning her sorry ass? Wishfull thinking? haha. Siver figure, Edward? And I have no idea why there would be a fire.. You know i really hate cliffhangers, and I have to read another whole chapter until I can figure out what it is.

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 Apr 2010 10:52 PM Title: Breathe Again

Frankly, I don't care how much she loves Jacob, or how much he loves her. She's throwing away so much by doing that. She could get good Scholarships because of her grades, to go to a good school, and she's giving it up for a relationship, that probably won't last due to Jake's Imprintee out there somewhere. But, this is a story, so i guess it really doesn't matter haha.

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 Apr 2010 10:42 PM Title: Confrontation

haha. I love overprotective dads. They make for good oneshots.

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 27 Apr 2010 9:38 PM Title: Loyalty

haha, I love Embry in your story. He's so crazy. And cute. And loyal to his friends, i guess thats why you named the story the way you did.

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 Apr 2010 9:16 PM Title: Breathe Again

Ha! I was right! On my first guess anyway. I'm so glad my last guess wasn't right :) love the chapter. Can't wait to see Jake's reaction.

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 Apr 2010 9:07 PM Title: Breathe Again

Yes, i think that would be nice haha. I really hope what happened to Leah won't happen to Bella. I sure hope he doesn't Imprint. If he does, Edward better be already back and 'waiting in the wings' as he put it in book three. But Jacob just better not Imprint. Who are you going to have as her Happily Ever After? Leah deserves one. She really does. Will she Imprint? I hope so haha. Because if she fell in love with someone who wasn't her Imprintee, then if she ever imprinted, she would feel so horrible, 20x worse than Sam ever did, because  she knows what it feels like. Anyhoo, Loved the chapter, and now i get to figure out who the man on the motercycle is! haha. Yes!

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 27 Apr 2010 8:53 PM Title: Breathe Again

Embry? or Sam.. wait.. is it?  better not be! Edward? I can sincerely hope it isn't. Damnit! It sure as hell better NOT be!! Not yet. Not so soon. They JUST got together! :| Guess I'll find out after the next chapter.

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 Apr 2010 3:59 PM Title: Breathe Again

haha l love the endings to your chapters, they're so hilarious

Reviewer: HarmonyisKey Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 26 Apr 2010 3:36 PM Title: Breathe Again

wow.. the ending to that chapter was.. interesting lol.. wonder what Jake thought.. guess ill find out in the next chapter! :)

RYSS,

~Harmony is Ke

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 4:40 PM Title: Breathe Again

I want to know Bella's reaction to this imprint... Please I hope the next chapter will come soon !

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 1:39 PM Title: Breathe Again

Will they finally explain to Bella what an imprint is ?

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 1:25 PM Title: Breathe Again

I love the funny ending !!!!!

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 12:28 PM Title: Breathe Again

I was reading "The Perfect Wife" which come recently on this site. Then I just stumble across it on the site when I made a research for other stories! Your summary was intriguing & interesting !

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 10:52 AM Title: Breathe Again

YYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS the Cullens are here !! Strange discussion !

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 8:33 AM Title: Concession

Great ! An excellent POV!! I love Charlie : he is so cool and loving for his daughter and her situation !

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 7:48 AM Title: Breathe Again

interesting idea to make this stash apparate  !

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 7:20 AM Title: Envy

It is really heplful to understand why Rachel could be so sweet with Bella and then just mean the next hour. Well writen ! I didn't think it could be jealousy the problem between the girls because I thought Rachel knows everything from Paul.

Reviewer: Izbels Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 6:47 AM Title: Breathe Again

I love Charlie...

Reviewer: Izbels Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 6:32 AM Title: Breathe Again

I think the New Moon movie made me just slightly Team Jacob...This fanfic is great by the way- a really great way of distracting me from uni!

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 5:24 AM Title: Breathe Again

Will Jacob become an alpha wolf with his second pack? I think they are too many for only one.

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 4:57 AM Title: Destined

A POV from the inside of Jessica's head : scary ! This girl is nut ! But I think you really understand the character. Good job ! LOL

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 3:16 AM Title: Breathe Again

I'm team Edward but I love this Jacob : I'm really torn between the two !

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Apr 2010 6:47 PM Title: Breathe Again

and the silver figure is ... a vampire? Edward??

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Apr 2010 1:51 PM Title: Breathe Again

They just forget that Mike's mum was here ! = problem because she a gossip queen.

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Apr 2010 1:31 PM Title: Loyalty

Aie what sort of plan is that ? A boy's one of course : there will be problems!

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Apr 2010 10:53 AM Title: Breathe Again

female wolf with no cubs : I think that was the next cruel thing !

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Apr 2010 10:44 AM Title: Breathe Again

Edward coming on a bike? ... No. I don't know!

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Apr 2010 8:49 AM Title: Gossip

I love Angela & Ben. They are sweet together & very nice to Bella !

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Apr 2010 7:28 AM Title: Breathe Again

B&J are ssssssssssooooooooooooo sweeeeeet & cute together !

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Apr 2010 6:48 AM Title: Wisdom

I love it ! Their dynamic is interesting !

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Apr 2010 5:36 AM Title: Breathe Again

she is infuriating ! with edward she want it all and now & with jacob it's please take it slow ! what is in her mind? I love the double POV it's really interesting

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 18 Apr 2010 10:41 PM Title: Breathe Again

waouh you really make me feel Bella's overload emotion! it was sure to come this crisis! extra  writing!

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 18 Apr 2010 9:28 PM Title: Breathe Again

what a screw up from jacob !

Reviewer: Lady Luciole Signed [Report This]
Date: 18 Apr 2010 9:14 PM Title: Breathe Again

very interesting plot ! so far the repetition of chapter in a different POV is well written and captivating... I will read more !

Reviewer: not_done_baking Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 22 Mar 2010 5:33 PM Title: Breathe Again

I've really enjoyed reading this. I don't think it's as "slow" as I thought it was going to be. I don't really like J/B stories where they just jumped right into the relationship. And while I felt that your characters jumped there was a lot of halting and hesitation going on at the same time which I think makes the story easier to read because no matter what anyone says reading 25 chapters and the characters still not getting together can get irritating for the reader (I'm definitely guilty of writing that).

I think the hesitation and exploration of both sides of the stories and the side stories make Breathe Again easier to read, but I also think that going over the same event twice was unneeded at certain points. Sometimes it was repetitive. Don't be afraid of summerizing what they are saying in the second POV. When both conversations just go with "he said/she said" there's really no reason to repeat them unless some new information is given in the narrative. 

Most of all, I really, really, really love the way you wrote Charlie. You gave him the typical father figure role but with a little more growth going on. Even with out the side story you know that he's going through stuff too. I think that people have a hard time writing that and tend to just use Charlie as a device to get something or have one of the characters go through some sort of turmoil. I love that Charlie is a bit of a liberal parent, what with letting Jake stay over, but has his reasoning for it. I also really love his dialogue. I like that he's got the father dialogue but also says things that are truly funny or "Charlie". You gave him a personality beyond father, which is great. I think you did a good job of keeping all the minor characters in character. They aren't just people there to keep a conversation flowing or to further a plot, like with Charlie, they all have their own lives going on as well.

I really can't wait to read more of this!

 

Samantha



Author's Response:

The truth is that this is less a story and more an exploration in differing perceptions of the same events.  The story was originally intended to be only a few chapters in length, and I never anticipated its popularity to explode like it did.  I initially thought nothing of extending it a bit for the readers who wanted more---after all, the rest of the story resided in my mind anyway, so what would it hurt to simply type it out, right?  I keep forgetting that the readers on this site weren't around for the beginning a year and a half ago, and they are entirely unaware of the reasoning behind the redundancy.  I do have a few other stories with differing POVs---I think I have only two of them posted publicly at the moment, and they aren't repetitive at all.  I guess you could say they are what you wold expect from a story that shows the views of two different characters.  I'm not disagreeing with you--it is absolutley repetitive, and I'm surprised so many of my readers were on board with that idea from the get-go.  If anything, though, this is more an indulgence of my want to delve too deeply into every detail, while my other stories are more traditional in format and are intended for public enjoyment.  It's rather ironic that the one I've been writing solely for my own enjoyment is the one that's most popular.

Reviewer: mc7575 Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Mar 2010 7:07 AM Title: Breathe Again

Hi there,

Well, I am not sure about others, but I came across from FanFic site following a writer. I was looking for a filter/search options, to see what stories are on offer, and located the top stories/sites etc.

Your site was there and I chanced a look (thank God!!) and have not looked away since, well, the story is still going and I have to finish it.

I will admit that I do tend to stay away from the Edward/Bella & somewhat Jacob/Bella pairing. Well, if I wanted Edward/Bella I have my books. So I like to see other pairing and stories when I read on-line, and Breathe Again and you have not disappointed me. I absolutely adore this story/and the out-takes.

I think, change that....I know you are absolutely brilliant! I find your stories extremely appealing and characters written to perfection. If SM's Jake was like yours, Bella would never have gone sparkly!

Anyway, I thought it was rude enough to read 70 chapters without review, so here it is!!

Looking forward to the rest of the story...and the sequel??(fingers crossed)

Cheers

Maja :-)

 

Reviewer: AmethystDancer Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2010 10:02 AM Title: Breathe Again

I stumbled across this fantastic fic while browsing the site... that's how much of a life I have :)

Reviewer: AmethystDancer Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2010 1:38 AM Title: Destined

Hilarious! She lives in a diferent world. "It's not denial. She's just selective about the reality she accepts."

Reviewer: AmethystDancer Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2010 1:26 AM Title: Breathe Again

As of right now, I don't want Edward to come back, cause that would cause trouble for Bella and she's so happy in this world. In general, I'm all for Edward and Bella, but since I would pick Jake I have a soft spot for stories such as this one. Whatver happens, I hope everyone gets a happy ending.

Reviewer: AmethystDancer Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2010 12:59 AM Title: Breathe Again

Well, I admit that my first thought upon reading massive ans silver was car (more specifically Volvo) but that doesn't make much sense. As for the fire.... Victoria is dead???

Whatever the cas, I'm loving this story.

Reviewer: AmethystDancer Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2010 12:01 AM Title: Gossip

It's one in the morning and I'me in bed readin Breather agin. I love it so far, and I really like the one-shots that give more insight. This one was good cause it was about Angela, who is one of my fave characters. I love that last bit betweem her and Ben. The only reason I didn't laugh out loud is that I'm supposed to be asleep!

Reviewer: Kittieswake Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 13 Mar 2010 1:17 PM Title: Gossip

ANGELA IS DA BOM, U NO THAT EVRY1 LUVS HER AND......shes really nice XD lol

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