Date: 12 Sep 2010 8:24 PM Title: Diversion: Jacob's POV
i dont think it needs to be in two pieces but that would follow the rerest of the book, on the other hand i cant wait for two different chapters! i want to know whats gonna happen right now!! lol thanks so much for this chapter i cant wait for the next one!!! and the sequel! <3
Date: 12 Sep 2010 7:24 AM Title: Diversion: Jacob's POV
Well, my opinion is that the more, the better, so I'm for separate Bella and Jacob POV's! I always enjoy hearing what they each think, and how they interpret what's going on.
It was really nice of Jacob to go with a Quil when he was upset, though I wasn't surprised. Jacob's just a good guy, and his friend was hurting. I do think it was interesting for Jacob to get more of a firsthand look at imprinting. I'm still wondering if that's going to happen to him. He's pretty sure Bella's it for him, but who knows? I'm surprised he hasn't thought about that specifically.
I also enjoyed reading about his shopping with Emily and the subsequent mess he made in the kitchen! I don't know if all men are that way (messy), but my husband sure is! Not that he can't cook like Jacob, but he sure makes a huge disaster when he does! It was nice of Emily to clean it up for him, though. I think she could tell he was getting a little freaked out about it all, and she wants his dinner to go well with Bella. Oh, and it was really sweet what he did when they were in the grocery store and the people were staring. He has a good heart.
I can't wait to read the sequel and see where this all goes. I've really enjoyed it. I think I've told you I've never really read a Jacob/Bella story and liked it before, but I'm glad I've read this one. It's actually made me like Jacob more, though I never disliked him before, I just believe Bella should be with Edward! But it's still been interesting to read, thanks to your great writing, and I'm looking forward to more.
Date: 12 Sep 2010 7:08 AM Title: Diversion: Bella's POV
Curiosity? Hmmm... I would think she'd be a little annoyed that he'd lied to her, but I guess not. I only hope the surprise comes off as planned. I've missed this story, and am looking forward to their little dinner date. I do feel for Bella, though. Spending a day shopping like that is not my idea of fun, but at least she got to know the girls a little more. I would've felt pretty awkward talking about Jacob in front of either of them, though, so I'm glad she didn't answer their questions, though I guess there's not a whole lot to tell yet, anyway!
I'm really enjoying this story.
Date: 04 Sep 2010 10:49 PM Title: Distractions: Jacob's POV
i just read your entire story in one day!!!! i love it!!! its amazing i found you on twilighted and i am hoping you will post more soon, on either site!!! i can not wait for the end of this story and for more in the squel! thanks so much, hope to read more soon!!!!!
Date: 27 Aug 2010 4:11 PM Title: Honesty: Jacob's POV
Okay, so I have a confession to make. Here I am, on chapter 70, for god's sake, and this is my first review. I'm very ashamed to admit that, but I had to stop and do it now. I normally review on every single chapter of any fic I read, but I didn't on this one, and here's why. First of all, I found myself so caught up in the story, I couldn't stop, which, I know, is no good excuse, but true. Also, I guess I was a little surprised at myself that I was loving this story so much. Not that I had any reason not to, except that I'm pretty much a diehard Edward/Bella lover, so the fact that I found myself so caught up in a Jake/Bella story was very strange to me. I guess I should also say that I was thoroughly prepared to hate it, and very surprised when I didn't! That would be due to your incredible writing talent, by the way. You had me from the very beginning. Your take on Jacob is pretty spot-on, which impressed me so much. While I'm firmly on Team Edward, I've always liked Jacob, too, and it was refreshing to read a story from his viewpoint.
I originally found your story by browsing through the stories available on the site, and for some reason, I decided to give it a try, and I'm really glad I did. Like I said, I love Edward, and to tell the truth, I was reading this story and finding myself enjoying it in spite of that, but I really keep waiting for Edward to return. This far in, though, I really like Jacob, and hate the thought of what it would do to him when/if Edward comes back, which, I assume, is going to happen at some point, since you've alluded to it more than once. It's going to be a tough thing for me, though, to hope that she chooses Jacob. I mean, I adore Edward, and we all know why he did what he did, even if we don't agree with it, so I'm really still on his side. But after reading this story, I'm the closest to hoping she chooses Jacob that I've ever been, which is pretty astonishing to me! That is all due to your talent. You've managed to portray a Jacob that I can root for, that I can see Bella with in the long term.
So, I'm really looking forward to the sequel. I still have that hope that Edward will come back and she'll realize he's her true love, and while I know it would devastate Jacob, I still hope that's what happens, though I won't be mad at you if you write it otherwise! I do think there will come a time when Jacob will imprint on someone and Bella will be left out in the cold like Leah was, so in that sense, I hope she chooses Edward. But I hate the idea of Jacob getting hurt. Just thoroughly hate it. Even moreso than when I read the books, now that I've read your story!
Okay, I'm off to read the last few chapters, and then I can look forward to the sequel. I'll try to be better about reviewing.
Date: 31 May 2010 4:53 PM Title: Honesty: Jacob's POV
Just looking around at some of the series at The Writer's Coffee Shop when I stumbled across your name. It sounded familiar cause either Teambella 23 or Vampish Vixen had mentioned you on the notes of one of their stories. Thank goodness for word of mouth. It would probabably have been winter before I got to yours.
Date: 19 May 2010 9:35 AM Title: Distractions: Jacob's POV
I happened to stumble upon you're story, and I just had to tell you that I absolutely love it. It is very well written and well developed, and it feels so possible, had Edward not return in the book's reality. It just feels like something Steph could have written. I love how you have every chapter in both POVs, too. You're doing a great job.
Date: 30 Apr 2010 9:34 AM Title: Normalcy: Jacob's POV
Well I already know that it doesn't involve Jacob either haha, because i read in your table of contents, so, I'm glad, because otherwise i would be freaking out haha, hopefully Jacob never has to imprint, but i guess that's just wishful thinking, but hey, it is a story, not real life, so you never know what will happen
Date: 30 Apr 2010 9:08 AM Title: Normalcy: Bella's POV
haha, loved that ending. I was wondering though, what does YSAR stand for? Is that your real name? Is it an abbreviation for something? I just thought that as i logged on and went to read your story haha
Date: 30 Apr 2010 1:06 AM Title: Honesty: Jacob's POV
It's in the topten most favorited section.. so usually those story's are the best, I always read some story's from there.. and I'm a big Jacla fan so.. this one really caught my eye, espectially when you have the part about, Edward leaving, Bella forgeting, and her and Jacob in bed together haha, I think it might even be in the topten most reviewed.. but I'm not sure..
Date: 30 Apr 2010 12:51 AM Title: Honesty: Bella's POV
Oh, really? I kind of liked reading what both their thoughts and everything were for the arguments and all the events that happened. Ah well, I didn't notice the sequal up, is it up? Or are you still writing this story?
Date: 28 Apr 2010 1:05 AM Title: Quiet: Jacob's POV
haha, can't wait to read the next chapter, but that'll have to wait till morning, which sucks, but iim tired and i don't think my eyes could take staring at the computer screen for much longer. Loved the chapter though, and your writing. Ever think of writing your own story? That you created? I think you would be good at it. Just a thought
Date: 28 Apr 2010 12:50 AM Title: Quiet: Bella's POV
JACOB!!!!! always! but yea, I know, he still might imprint on someone, I'm guessing thats how it ends, him imprinting and Edward 'waiting in the wings' for when he does.. I really wish it didn't have to be that way though. Anyway, I wonder why Jess is looking for Embry, haha, she probably thinks their dating or something and has turned into a clingy girlfriend or something, wouldn't that be hilarious! Poor Embry.
Date: 28 Apr 2010 12:00 AM Title: Waiting: Jacob's POV
GO JACOB!!! I can't wait until he finally catches up to and and kills her.. even if i felt sorry for her before.. she wanted to die right?? God, it's so fustrating, your story is like one of those good books, you can't seem to stop read or put it down. I know I'm going to regret this in the morning, when i have a massive headache from staring at the computer screen for so long.
Date: 27 Apr 2010 11:10 PM Title: Admission: Bella's POV
The silver figure is just her imagination? And the fire is because they finally caught the Redheaded Victoria leech and they're burning her sorry ass? Wishfull thinking? haha. Siver figure, Edward? And I have no idea why there would be a fire.. You know i really hate cliffhangers, and I have to read another whole chapter until I can figure out what it is.
Date: 27 Apr 2010 10:52 PM Title: Choice: Bella's POV
Frankly, I don't care how much she loves Jacob, or how much he loves her. She's throwing away so much by doing that. She could get good Scholarships because of her grades, to go to a good school, and she's giving it up for a relationship, that probably won't last due to Jake's Imprintee out there somewhere. But, this is a story, so i guess it really doesn't matter haha.
Date: 27 Apr 2010 9:07 PM Title: Unease: Jacob's POV
Yes, i think that would be nice haha. I really hope what happened to Leah won't happen to Bella. I sure hope he doesn't Imprint. If he does, Edward better be already back and 'waiting in the wings' as he put it in book three. But Jacob just better not Imprint. Who are you going to have as her Happily Ever After? Leah deserves one. She really does. Will she Imprint? I hope so haha. Because if she fell in love with someone who wasn't her Imprintee, then if she ever imprinted, she would feel so horrible, 20x worse than Sam ever did, because she knows what it feels like. Anyhoo, Loved the chapter, and now i get to figure out who the man on the motercycle is! haha. Yes!
Date: 27 Apr 2010 8:53 PM Title: Unease: Bella's POV
Embry? or Sam.. wait.. is it? better not be! Edward? I can sincerely hope it isn't. Damnit! It sure as hell better NOT be!! Not yet. Not so soon. They JUST got together! :| Guess I'll find out after the next chapter.
Date: 22 Mar 2010 5:33 PM Title: Distractions: Jacob's POV
I've really enjoyed reading this. I don't think it's as "slow" as I thought it was going to be. I don't really like J/B stories where they just jumped right into the relationship. And while I felt that your characters jumped there was a lot of halting and hesitation going on at the same time which I think makes the story easier to read because no matter what anyone says reading 25 chapters and the characters still not getting together can get irritating for the reader (I'm definitely guilty of writing that).
I think the hesitation and exploration of both sides of the stories and the side stories make Breathe Again easier to read, but I also think that going over the same event twice was unneeded at certain points. Sometimes it was repetitive. Don't be afraid of summerizing what they are saying in the second POV. When both conversations just go with "he said/she said" there's really no reason to repeat them unless some new information is given in the narrative.
Most of all, I really, really, really love the way you wrote Charlie. You gave him the typical father figure role but with a little more growth going on. Even with out the side story you know that he's going through stuff too. I think that people have a hard time writing that and tend to just use Charlie as a device to get something or have one of the characters go through some sort of turmoil. I love that Charlie is a bit of a liberal parent, what with letting Jake stay over, but has his reasoning for it. I also really love his dialogue. I like that he's got the father dialogue but also says things that are truly funny or "Charlie". You gave him a personality beyond father, which is great. I think you did a good job of keeping all the minor characters in character. They aren't just people there to keep a conversation flowing or to further a plot, like with Charlie, they all have their own lives going on as well.
I really can't wait to read more of this!
The truth is that this is less a story and more an exploration in differing perceptions of the same events. The story was originally intended to be only a few chapters in length, and I never anticipated its popularity to explode like it did. I initially thought nothing of extending it a bit for the readers who wanted more---after all, the rest of the story resided in my mind anyway, so what would it hurt to simply type it out, right? I keep forgetting that the readers on this site weren't around for the beginning a year and a half ago, and they are entirely unaware of the reasoning behind the redundancy. I do have a few other stories with differing POVs---I think I have only two of them posted publicly at the moment, and they aren't repetitive at all. I guess you could say they are what you wold expect from a story that shows the views of two different characters. I'm not disagreeing with you--it is absolutley repetitive, and I'm surprised so many of my readers were on board with that idea from the get-go. If anything, though, this is more an indulgence of my want to delve too deeply into every detail, while my other stories are more traditional in format and are intended for public enjoyment. It's rather ironic that the one I've been writing solely for my own enjoyment is the one that's most popular.
Date: 19 Mar 2010 7:07 AM Title: Honesty: Jacob's POV
Well, I am not sure about others, but I came across from FanFic site following a writer. I was looking for a filter/search options, to see what stories are on offer, and located the top stories/sites etc.
Your site was there and I chanced a look (thank God!!) and have not looked away since, well, the story is still going and I have to finish it.
I will admit that I do tend to stay away from the Edward/Bella & somewhat Jacob/Bella pairing. Well, if I wanted Edward/Bella I have my books. So I like to see other pairing and stories when I read on-line, and Breathe Again and you have not disappointed me. I absolutely adore this story/and the out-takes.
I think, change that....I know you are absolutely brilliant! I find your stories extremely appealing and characters written to perfection. If SM's Jake was like yours, Bella would never have gone sparkly!
Anyway, I thought it was rude enough to read 70 chapters without review, so here it is!!
Looking forward to the rest of the story...and the sequel??(fingers crossed)
Date: 16 Mar 2010 1:26 AM Title: Quiet: Bella's POV
As of right now, I don't want Edward to come back, cause that would cause trouble for Bella and she's so happy in this world. In general, I'm all for Edward and Bella, but since I would pick Jake I have a soft spot for stories such as this one. Whatver happens, I hope everyone gets a happy ending.
Date: 16 Mar 2010 12:59 AM Title: Admission: Bella's POV
Well, I admit that my first thought upon reading massive ans silver was car (more specifically Volvo) but that doesn't make much sense. As for the fire.... Victoria is dead???
Whatever the cas, I'm loving this story.
Date: 10 Mar 2010 12:42 AM Title: Distractions: Jacob's POV
This is an amazingly well wrote story, and I can't wait to read the next chapter(s). It is interesting to see how their relationship is slowly devolping. It seems a lot more like real life than the way most books make love seem.
Date: 08 Mar 2010 7:56 AM Title: Distractions: Jacob's POV
Okay, so now i'm reviewing here, since I've done twl and ff. it really is a pain in the ass to stalk you. sometimes i don't think you realize or appreciate the struggle that i go through to do it thoroughly.
off to adf.
Date: 24 Feb 2010 3:25 PM Title: Quiet: Bella's POV
I am team bella! I just want to explore the triangle and be surprised, as of now I want her to end up with jake but my team edward side really does miss the cullen's whimsicle life.
Date: 24 Feb 2010 11:52 AM Title: Waiting: Bella's POV
great chapter! Suspense suspense suspense!!! but please dont kill off one of my beloved wolfboys!
Date: 24 Feb 2010 11:35 AM Title: Admission: Bella's POV
Um, I bet it has something to do with victoria, it seems like the right time to add a little danger, what with bell and jake so happy together AND relatively conflict free. BTW you have totally got jake's charecter down and I love the wolf pack world. I was wondering did BD"s renessme imprint totally creep you out too?
Date: 19 Feb 2010 5:37 PM Title: Honesty: Jacob's POV
I got re-routed from the ericnorthman.net website to read another story and then i spotted your story and it sounded really interesting so i started to read it. The stories really interesting and captivating by the way.
Date: 01 Feb 2010 7:16 AM Title: Dilemma: Bella's POV
I was totally holding out for it and you are so right in that it was clear from the summary and your other stories that the focus would be the JxB relationship.
What interested me about the story was that you went through the effort of really establishing the BxJ properly and then seeing how Edward dealt with that on his return to beg Bella for another chance. I totally understood that entailed going through Bella and Jacob exploring things together emotionally, physically and socially, but didn't think that was the main focus of the story.
I think your writing is good, but you could cut out a lot of repeat in the duplicate POVs. Maybe on JPOV skim his thoughts on what happened when he and Bella were together and go into detail where he was somewhere else (like wolf time).
The bottom line is that is took me forever to realize this really is a Bella/Jacob story, though I knew that, I was looking forward to the conflict when Edward arrives. When Alice and Emmett showed up before Edward, that was really when I just stopped. I really am Team Edward and, clearly, a masochist to subject myself to something I should have known would be unsatisfying. My bad - not yours at all, clearly.
Side note: I do love what you've done with teh series in its structure and side POVs. I really enjoyed how you were capturing the various perspectives and while the story focused on two characters in particular, you told the story in the larger context as well. I especially liked Angela's and Embry's POVs, because they have the voice of Bella and Jacob, respectively, without the emotion drama, so it focuses on the fun of the situation.
Date: 01 Feb 2010 3:48 AM Title: Distractions: Bella's POV
Seriously, over 70 chapters and Edward hasn't appeared yet. Sorry, but you've lost me.
I was wondering when you were going to figure that out. The summary does list only Bella and Jacob, and it states that this is "first in a series of stories that tell of Bella and Jacob during Edward's absence, Bella's start at college, and the Cullens' eventual return." I never said thet Edward was going to appear in this story, but judging from your reviews, it looked like that's what you were holding out for.
Date: 01 Feb 2010 2:56 AM Title: Waiting: Bella's POV
The fire are a distraction so they could raid Bella's house to get her scent. That defnitely matches the timeline.
Is this how Edward comes back? If he's monitoring the news he might see the signs of the newborns in Seattle or the fires in Forks...
Date: 31 Jan 2010 6:38 PM Title: Choice: Bella's POV
I think I might skip Jake's POV and just focus on Bella's unless there's something unaccounted for to read JPOV. It's just too redundant. It should be written to skip over details that were already told and focus on the new information. Every single event from both side is tedious.
Date: 31 Jan 2010 6:12 PM Title: Questions: Jacob's POV
I think Charlie would be a bit more articulate than that and Jacob really needs to have some respect. No matter strong he is, Charlie is Bella's father, the Chief of Police and his father's best friend. Those are several reasons to be more respectful - Edward would never have been so rude.